Advice for the terminally inappropriate

So when you’re editing a document that deals with the topic of rape it’s really not advisable to have ‘track changes’ on in Microsoft Word.  This is because when you are adding a sentence about sexual consent it will ask you if you would like to “accept insertion” and you will find yourself thinking “well no actually, that’s the whole fucking point”.  Then as you are tired, emotional and possibly feverish you will have a little chuckle about your own inappropriateness tinged with sheer relief at having managed, possibly for the first time ever not to say the bad things out loud.

Then you will realise that your office is very small and everyone has turned to see what’s funny and now thinks you are making up your own rape jokes.

You start to create a desperate yet plausible explanation despite realising that the awkwardness alarms are blaring on every deck but then you realise that it puts you in mind of the whole George Galloway ‘you don’t need to ask permission before each insertion’ nastiness http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2012/aug/20/george-galloway-julian-assange-rape

Now if Microsoft Word thinks it appropriate to ask prior to each insertion but Galloway doesn’t, that probably not only makes him more inappropriate than me but also more rapey than my word processor.

So if you impose simple logic (which I rarely do but this time I’m doing fucking science here baby) – if Bill Gates built and programmed a giant sex robot, the evidence suggests that it is likely to ask prior to insertion.

So basically George Galloway is rapy-er than Bill Gate’s sex robot.*

“I’m not doing rape jokes, I’m doing awesome cutting edge political commentary” is rarely a sentence that goes down well in the office it seems.

*This post is not suggesting, inferring or implying that George Galloway is a rapist or that Bill Gates is, builds or utilises sex robots. Please don’t sue me

Advertisements