There are two things I know about depression.
One is that it will get better. Really, it will.
The second is that this won’t happen as fast as it you want it to. Be kind to yourself but not the sort of kind that means you spend everyday in your pyjamas eating ice cream and whole blocks of cheese straight from the wrapper (seriously that does not end as well as you think it would).
Take baby steps, sometimes ones that take you out of the house staring blearily into the daylight like the last survivor of the zombie apocalypse. Your brains will be safer than you think.
If you’re trapped in a prison and the only way out is to dig with a teaspoon, you will still tunnel out eventually as long as you just keep digging. The 50’s pin up girl poster is entirely optional, you might prefer something with a kitten in a bow tie that provides inspirational quotes such as ‘as soon as I get out of this bow tie I’m chewing your fucking face off’ or ‘every time you stop digging god bites the head off a kitten’. Then when you do get out you could start your own range of inspirational posters because really the competition is weak.
Talk. It doesn’t matter what about. Zombies, the latest kitten fashions, how fucking shitty you feel and how it seems like the shittiness will never end. You don’t need to be understood to feel less alone, you just need to be heard by someone – a friend, family member, professional, priest, shamanic healer – whatever works for you. Just don’t trust everyone on the internet, some of them are big weirdos. Also don’t start telling the person on the supermarket checkout about the zombie kitten apocalypse it makes them scared and they might call security. Pick the people who will listen, accept and not try to solve all your problems for you or call the police.
There’s a lot more but another thing I know about depression is that you often end up with the attention span of a goldfish on speed except with slightly less interest in fish flakes…..ooh fish flakes
It will get better. You don’t have to completely believe that but try to behave as if you do and use any and all support from others who believe it too and one day, probably not tomorrow, it won’t feel this bad anymore. Promise